Chat up lines come and go, but something that perhaps slips under the radar and is even more effective comes in the form of body language.
This is something that most of us just plainly ignore. When we approach women, whether it’s in the spur of the moment context or a prearranged date, it’s all about what comes out of our mouth.
Instead of looking at the situation from this one dimensional perspective, there are countless other tells that can give all the right signs to her and allow you to hold all of the cards.
The fact that there are trained professionals who can teach people exactly “how to be liked” or “how to be more effective” with their body language speaks volumes on just how important this can be in the dating scene.
The beauty of it all is that most guys don’t even realise its important – this is your chance to gain the upper hand and attract women that would otherwise be bypassing you in the street.
Interested? Let’s get to work.
Imagine she’s just a friend
This is perhaps one of the most powerful pieces of advice you can follow. Most of us go immediately stiff when presented with a dating opportunity – we’re just not our natural selves. Unfortunately, staying natural is what it’s all about.
Even if you don’t necessarily like who you are, if you’re pretending to be something you’re not it just makes things much, much worse.
To bypass this issue, it’s time to see your date as if they were one of your old friends – someone who you are completely comfortable with.
The knock-on effect is that your body will subconsciously relax and just emit a much more welcoming impression. It will be small things, like the positioning of your toes, that will just fall into place and ultimately make you appear like a much more attractive proposition.
Don’t be a fidget
On the subject of staying normal, most of us start to fidget when we’re left with an uncomfortable and unnatural situation.
Of course, dates fall into this category and if nothing else, you should be just trying to limit those fidgety movements that just don’t appear normal. Some of us will twitch, others will squirm – they’re all movements that aren’t going to give off that sexy impression and instead, just turn your partner off.
The best piece of advice to avoid the above is to concentrate on gazing on your date. It goes without saying that this shouldn’t be in a creepy way – just in a way that allows you to keep still and again, seem normal. Don’t focus on yourself and all of the quirky movements that you can produce – just look at her and keep calm.
All eyes on her
We’ve just spoken about where to position your eyes and in truth, you should be paying more attention to this than anything else.
Of course, as we’ve already explored, there are ways to retain eye-contact without the “creepy factor”. Try not to break contact too abruptly and if you do need to look away, don’t jerk.
Instead, just slowly stretch your eyes away – it just makes you appear that little more intelligent and thoughtful; two properties which will do you the world of good in dating.
If you’re really struggling to master eye-contact, there’s one tip that a lot of men swear by. Whilst still taking in conversation, attempt to count the amount of time she blinks. It relaxes your eyes and studies have proven that it will make people fonder of you.
A final note on eye contact
We’ve spoken a lot about it – but let that just emphasize just how important eye-contact is in the date situation.
There will be times where you’re not necessarily in that one-on-one situation. In fact, you may still be looking for someone – and that’s where your eyes can come to the rescue again.
If the person you are interested in is stood within a group of people, you should be focussing on her with your eyes for the whole conversation.
Regardless of whether or not she is doing the talking, by using your eyes in this way you are immediately showing that this is the person who you are interested in. Ultimately, if she feels as though she is interesting you, it sets you on the right path.
The big-baby welcome
We’ve just spoken about the importance of making her “feel” good about herself and at least feel as though she is stimulating you. Well, this next tip follows a similar sort of theme – even if the way in which you approach it may appear almost strange.
If you watch most people when they greet a baby the welcome is pretty overpowering. It’s exaggerated, over-the-top, and designed to get some sort of reaction out of a tiny human who has seen very little of the world.
When meeting a new woman, you should be looking to follow similar principles. Admittedly, there’s not going to be many “coo’s” or any of the other stereotypical baby sounds, but your welcome should be just as overpowering.
Turn your body fully towards them and make sure nothing is becoming between you and giving them your utmost attention.
Some people call it the pivot for the way in which you swivel towards her – but the basis is just making her appear as special as possible on that first meeting.
The strategic smile
A lot has been mentioned about how you make your date feel, but there are times where you have to play the game and be a little strategic.
While you should be looking to provide her with confidence and a feel-good factor, you also have to be careful not to make her think that everyone and anyone who comes into your path is greeted like this.
This is where the strategic smile comes into play.
When you greet your date, don’t flash a knockout smile. Instead, it’s time for a pregnant pause, before emitting a warm smile that at least appears meaningful.
The end result is that your smile will seem to be sincere, rather than fake, and you can build that trust and rapport that a good date is founded upon.
Stand tall (and via leather, if necessary)
Anyone who has ever studied anything about body language will have been expecting a section on posture so duly, here it is.
Some people have suggested that you should try and “hang by your teeth” – in other words, imagine there is a piece of leather hanging from each door that you walk through and you are taking a bite of it.
The concept is that your whole body will be lifted; your head, shoulders and even cheeks will be held high and you will just emit ounces of confidence.
Countless studies have shown that good posture is linked with success. The problem that most people face is that good posture just doesn’t “feel right”. By attempting to hang from your teeth, using the method above, you can make it so much easier and make that striking impression on your date from the start.