Some of us thrive in the situation, some of us are petrified. Whatever your views on first dates are there is one thing that’s for certain; you must ask questions.
Not only is it a sure-fire way to spark conversation, it will ultimately tell you if the person sat opposite you is worth pursuing for a relationship.
Of course, the questions that you ask can actually make the other person form an opinion of you. You don’t want her reporting back to her friends that “he asked weird questions” or “his questions were like a formal interview”. To avoid remarks such as the above, let’s take a look at ten questions which can transform that first date.
What is your idea of the perfect date?
Well, it’s a question that can open up a lot of avenues. Not only will it provide you with ideas for the future, but it’s provides some fuel for self-ridicule as well. Sure, she might agree with everything you’ve done so far, but if there are differences this can be an ice-breaker.
Where in the world do you want to visit the most?
Questions about travel are always golden on dates, particularly if you are lucky enough to have visited a lot of places. Even if you haven’t, it provides the opportunity to reminisce about childhood vacations if the question is reverted back to you.
The potential for conversation is huge here, but not only that, it will also provide you several ideas for future getaways – if the relationship does turn out to develop.
If you had three wishes, what would they be?
It’s certainly a question which puts her on the spot, but is that necessarily a bad thing? This is an opportunity where you can really start to learn about someone, especially as most people will tend to focus on different areas of their life.
One of her wishes may focus on something personal, while another might be career-based. Regardless, it’s a quick way to find out three things about her. Additionally, it can be a quick guide to see how compatible the two of you are – is she completely bonkers, or does she not have too much going on in her life? Neither are bad – it depends on your tastes.
What is your favorite word?
In comparison to some of the questions we’ve mentioned, some might view this as one of the quick and silly ones. Sure, you’re not going to find out masses about her by asking this simple question, but it’s something which can fuel future conversation. Just dropping “her word” in conversations can prompt a few smiles, and keep a date flowing smoothly.
Are you organized?
Some might view this as a little interview-like, but the organized question does allow you to learn a lot about a person. Are they the type that will be late to a date?
Do they sometimes leave the house with just one sock on? Will they be able to cope with your disorganized tendencies? As you’ll find with a lot of our suggestions, by asking this question it allows you to quickly perform a “compatibility check” with her.
Do you like kissing in public?
Ok, we’ve got to throw this one in – but with a disclaimer. It’s a question that you certainly shouldn’t ask from the start and it’s also one that you may have to wait a few dates before trying. Nevertheless, if you’re getting to that “will she, won’t she” stage, this is a good way to gauge whether she’s game for meeting again and ultimately, developing the relationship.
It’s a bit of a cheeky ploy to see if she would be interested, and suffice to say you can make your move if it’s a positive response.
Who do you live with?
This really can open up a person’s life, even if they live alone. In the case of this, you can find out why she lives alone, if she likes living alone (which subsequently highlights the type of person she is) and perhaps gain a little background knowledge on her life.
If they live with others, you’ve immediately given her the opportunity to bring several stories to the table. What’s it like living with her parents? How are her housemates? You can quickly jump into her world and become more familiar with each other.
Do you like to read?
On a lot of dates, you might be thinking this is something of a yawn-question. Well, it’s also one that can open up all sorts of other avenues. Sure, you might get a blunt “no” as a response, but even if someone doesn’t like reading they may like movies which are based on books – and that can spark a completely different type of conversation.
What do you do at college or work?
It’s probably one of the first questions you’ll ask – what exactly do you do? Regardless of whether or not the answer is interesting, it’s something that you just have to pose. Without this knowledge, you are left with gaping holes of a person’s life.
Similarly, like with the majority of questions on the list, it gives you the opportunity to showcase what you do as well.
What’s your favorite music?
This is perhaps one of those questions which has cliché written all over it. Whenever you need conversation, music tastes are a great way to turn.
This isn’t a question which is going to reveal hugely telling things about your date, but it can spark a meaty conversation if it turns out that you are into the same things.
Additionally, there are other avenues. Music is linked to all sorts; with examples being concerts and festivals. She might not be the biggest music fan in the world, but there’s a chance she’s been to at least one concert or festival. How was it? Would she go again? You see where we’re going with this, it opens up a whole catalogue of questions which can just make the date even more enthralling.